Probably for the fifth time during the night I check my phone. I haven’t got up to check. I steal a look only because I’ve got up.
Just Checking
The Choir
The composer came to work with the choir before the concert, just for a few days. It wasn’t common: first of all most composers are dead. Then, how likely a living one (being alive and performed isn’t common either) would be in town and show up? Not very. Of course there are helpful circumstances, such as being in a very large town, or preparing a truly glamorous concert. Or, the choir director being one of the composer’s best friends. All that said, the visit still was exceptional – a miraculous blessing.
Searching for Silvio
Two months after my father dies, his older brother Silvio—who my father cherished and promised to take care of after their father died, who looks like my father, and laughs like him—gets married at age 86.
Eavesdropping in a Panera Bread
I rarely write in coffee shops. I prefer the privacy of working at home, where I can protect my anonymity as an unpublished author; I don’t want other café patrons to observe me as I struggle to write.
To Tell the Truth
When my real mother dies, I go looking for another one. The Catholic Charities counselor’s word for this other mother I want, after decades, to find is “biological”. Illegitimate is another word for people who end up like me. It’s what I feel now: unlawful, unauthorized, unwarranted here in this office that smells like antiseptic and rubber gloves, hot teeth drilled down to bone.